No one will ever be as good or as perfect as you were. Literally, you fit my perfect kind of guy. I don’t know what it is that my heart just won’t seem to give up. I feel like it never will. I feel like I’m always going to love you as much as I did when we were together. When I tell you or people that I’m over it, it’s just a lie. I try talking to other guys, and it’s just not the same. I would do anything to go back. Anything to just hold and kiss you one last time. Tell you that I love you one last time and pretend like nothing even happened. It kills me to see you in love with someone else. It really does. You gave me so much good memories. You made me smile so much. You made me feel so great, the greatest I’ve ever felt. Now that it’s gone, nothings the same. Remember everything we use to say? The good times we had with each other? I miss it. I miss you. I want you back so badly.
So the past 3 weeks has sucked. I’ve felt so lost and confused. Like a piece of shit. I’m never going to be good enough for anyone, no matter what I do. I hate myself inside and out. I lost something so important to me, that could now probably care less about me. I feel like somethings missing in my life. I’ve been having the worst anxiety lately. I’ve been throwing up so much. I’m constantly in pain. I don’t know how to live normal. I’m so damn weak. Theres so much going through my head, there all mixed up, and I have only one answer to get myself out of it. I tried to do it, now I’m getting checked into the hospital today. I’m sick. I’m sick of everything, I’m sick of pain, I’m sick of everyone and everything, but unfortunately, that’s life. I don’t really want to go through this thing called “life” anymore. There’s no point of me being here anymore. I’m a nobody. I’m not even important.
I really don’t get why I’m letting you get to me so much.
I hope one day this happens to you, and it will hurt.
I’ll be laughing because you deserve it, big time.
Oh my I can’t wait for that, but for now I’m just going to have to put on my fake smile and act like I’m happy and like I don’t care.
Blah, just thinking about you makes me wanna punch the wall.
Like really, what runs through your fucking head? You’re such an idiot. I wish I could just erase everything, but sadley, I can’t.
THEME:
CARMAH